i hate myself for still being able to love you; how can i still dream about you? how can my heart still stop beating everytime i see a picture of you, how can my hands shake everytime i see you with another girl, or my eyes tear everytime i listen to a song i've associated with you? how can i care so much about someone who hates every part of my being. it must be hate; there's no other way to explain your actions.i can't believe how foolish i was to think that you loved me. you think you have "family problems"; you hate the way things run in your house, you think your future is not going to escape the exact same situation. you think you're set to be just like you're father, "a product of your environment." i've met someone recently who has problems far worse than your own; and he doens't let them win, he's better than them. it's pathetic how helpless you think you are; you wanted to "save me" from you, when that couldn't be farther from the truth; you are only doomed by your self-indulgence, and apathy; you could have changed, but you want to be like him, you just won't admit it. there's no other explanation for your cowardice. i can't believe i ever felt sorry for you. i still do; but in a completely different way, not to your advantage. i will never be able to forgive you for the things you've done; you couldn't even wait more than a week to break my heart all over again. is she prettier than me? funnier? smarter? thinner? does she have more virtues, is her heart bigger? does she understand you better? better yet, does she let you slide by with all the shit that i did? she had better be damn wonderful; for you to be able to throw her in my face a week after breaking my heart; she had better be worth doing that to anybody, because there is no excuse for what you did. none. i am fucking better than that; i respected you until then. i could literally write a page long list of the things you've done to me; the things you've said, the carelessness you've showed me. i've wasted a year and a half on you; i've wasted love and emotions, kisses, tears; i've made love to you, while you've only used me. a year and a half, when i've only lived 17, is gone; i could have been loving someone who loved me back. i can't believe how much i adored you. the most i did, was, what, call too much? expect too much? want to see you too much? miniscule things that most would not complain about when looked at in retrospect. you've actually succeeded in making me believe for one second that this is all my fault, that i should have been better, that i'm the one who was wrong. oh god baby, what have you done? sometimes i fear that you were supposed to be the love of my life; and that through some random malfunction, or through some mistake of our own, we fucked it up; and now no one will ever be able to replace you. but everytime i start thinking that, i think "no, you have more to give; he doesn't deserve you." what hurts the most is how certain i am of how happy you are without me; you have your friends, your girl, your everything; and how completely unaffected you are by my absence, whereas i miss you more than i can stand. it hurts so much to know i'll never see you again. i honestly wish i could take back everything i ever had to do with you; i wish i'd never met you, and i truly mean that. not all the love in the world is worth what you've shown me; you've done nothing good for me. "I can't imagine all the people that you know
and the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
and I don't understand all the things you've seen
but I'm slipping in between
You and your big dreams
It's always you
In my big dreams
And you tell me that its over
wake up lying in a patch of four leaf clovers
and you're restless
and i'm naked
you gotta get out
you cant stand to see me shakin
no
could you let me go?
i didn't think so
and you dont wanna be here in the future
so you say the presant's just a pleasant interuption to the past" Hello its Warren: i hope your heart will heal
Hello its Warren: that's all i want
Hello its Warren: for you to be okay Hello its Warren: sometimes i wonder if he's human
Hello its Warren: everything he does is so inhuman | 
